Thursday, December 15, 2011

Winning the War but losing the battle...

So I am trying really hard to be a great mom. Trying to make memories for Max like going to the park, play groups, cookies, special things and somedays I think every things going great others not so much. Today is one of those days. We had an early morning and I was pretty tired by the time 9 am had rolled around. I am trying to get ready everyday because it makes me feel better about myself (wow she can get up early, get ready, be hugely pregnant, and cart around a toddler...ya know) anyways I turned my back as I was starting to get ready to curl my hair and the next thing I knew Max was screaming. One of those deathly something is so wrong screams I knew instantly what had happened. I scooped him up and ran his little hands under the cold water as he was kicking and screaming. I next put ice packs on them which he hated. Ever try prying a toddlers little hands open to put them on ice packs...pretty bad. With some quick thinking I busted out the Tylenol, then tried to calm him down by taking him on a walk...nothing helped.

With a frantic teary phone call to Larry pleading for some suggestions on how to calm him down I quickly decided I needed to go and purchase some burn spray to at least numb the area. Screaming the entire way to the store my poor Max was so upset. As I was driving/purchasing/applying spray I was on the phone with the advice nurse making sure I had remembered to do everything I'd been taught (yay for nursing school) as well as double check that he didn't need to be seen because of his age. His burn really wasn't that bad, in fact I think it was more red because of his constant screaming (he gets all red) and the ice packs. She reassured me I had done everything right and even let me cry on the phone for a couple minutes.

After a good 2 hours of constant crying he finally settled down. As I laid with him in the bed I said a silent prayer of thanks for the silence and that he was alright. It's the worst feeling knowing you could have prevented your child from getting hurt and all's you were doing was trying to get ready so you could take him out to lunch and the park. Deep breath! So now I'm sitting here taking a breather as he is hopefully sleeping for a while, not dressed, hair in a bun, no make up on, and feeling pretty defeated. I knew that this mom thing was sacrifice and hard work but sometimes I feel like I can do nothing right, and can please no one. Anyone else feel like they have no clue what they are doing? I know there are other days though that are perfect and blissful and they make up for the ones you screw up pretty bad.

1 comment:

  1. Every single day I think to myself "What in the heck are you doing???" and "well I sure hope they won't need counseling for today" Guess what?!?!? You are normal, full fledged normal. Best news yet though.....He won't remember a thing, so don't be too hard on yourself, we all have moments we wish never happened. Good thing there is tomorrow, and forgiveness.