Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Emotional mess

So I will try not to make this blog become dedicated to only baby Max but this post is about him so beware. Baby blues had hit and HARD. I can't look at him without tearing up usually. When he cries {which is usually never unless I am trying to make him nurse} I start to cry.

Its hard to explain I think but Larry has been amazing. I love him so much and would never want to try this parenting thing with anyone else. He is calm and collective and is naturally amazing with max. He has been patient with me as I cry because nursing has been so hard for me and max just doesn't want to latch on and try. I have resorted to pumping and then giving him a bottle after he screams and cries as I attack him with my boob. (Sorry is this is graphic for some haha}

In just 4 short days our lives have changed, I knew they would but I never knew how much I would love this baby and how much he scares me too haha! Larry is so proud and I love seeing him with the baby..ahh I cant take it its so amazing. He said today Heavenly Father sent us a good one while holding max. I am so grateful for this amazing gift and blessing. I am glad Heavenly Father made babies durable so he can last with us hopefully.

As things become stressful trying to move and applying for student loans for law school and trying to predict if we will make all our monthly bills I am trying to focus on the fact that we made a righteous decision and I am trying my best to have faith we will make it through this transition in life.

Thanks everyone for your awesome comments and encouragement on this blog. It helps so much and I love being able to update family and friends and just type about anything.

Seriously...what is not love about these two?


  1. call my mom. she's got some good advice for ya.. anytime on the cell phone. text me if you need her number. =] (or call/text me and i can give you her number) love ya! and baby max (and larry) i hope things start to get easier for you. we're rooting for you. =] xoxo

  2. Its a big adjustment. Justin wouldn't nurse either. He had jaundice and could hardly stay awake to nurse so I pumped and bottle fed him too. Then he just got lazy and refused to nurse after that. So I pumped every 2 hours for 6 months!!! I still can't believe I did that. And I don't know if I could do it again. A few things that helped me...

    Remembering that this stage won't last for ever. It seems like the nights and days blur together and never end but I promise it will get better!

    Also if nursing doesn't work out don't worry about it. I know its really hard not to. But I promise you are not a bad mom if it doesn't work. Formula is GREAT too!!!

    Also, if you don't start feeling better emotionally soon. Then get some medical help. There is no shame! Baby blues are WAY more common than people think. I saw a counselor for about 3 months, there was actually one in my OB clinic who specialized in postpartum. So if you feel like you need it there are lots of resources that can help.

    Hang in there!!! and yea for great husbands! I can't even imagine going through the whole baby experience with out Jeff! I'm glad you got a good one too!

  3. CONGRATULATIONS!! We are SO excited for you three! I'm sure everyone is giving you their advice, but I'll throw some in as well. Lucky you, eh? :)

    First of all - the beginning is hard but really try to cherish it because it FLIES by. He will not be so little for long.

    Second of all - you will feel a thousand times a day that you are not a very good mom for various reasons but that is normal. Tell yourself you can do it and God will help you. I know I was and am helped.

    Third - nursing is so hard (it was a nightmare for me) but last as long as you can. It is so important, and I envy all the women who can do it easily. If you've given it your best and still can't, YOUR BABY WILL SURVIVE and will be a happy, healthy baby. I cried hard the first time we gave Jocelyn formula. I thought for sure the next day she would have cancer or something. Nope. All was well. Everything will work out.

    Fourth - although you may feel fat (I felt like a cow for weeks) and it may add to your blues, cling to the fact that your weight will go down quickly. Your body is forever different now, but you can shrink that tummy back down with time. Remember how big I was? I was HUGE (you know it's true), and I am almost 10 pounds lighter than before I got pregnant. The human body is amazing, as I am sure you know.

    WE MISS YOU GUYS! Please let us know what your plans are so we can come visit you before you go anywhere. Max needs to meet some of his favorite people. :)

    Way to go, Harris Family! We are thinking of you!!

  4. Hey Marie, I just have to give my plug about nursing...my guys were just a little bit smaller than yours and it's so hard for their little mouths to latch on! Don't give up, did the lactation consultant at the hospital give you any nipple shields? If not you should ask your ob asap, they helped my boys to latch on so much! I pumped, gave bottles and nursed--I would nurse the boys first and then give them a bottle just to be sure they were getting enough, the ob told me to alwasy try to nurse first since babies hungriest then--the bottle is easier and he'll get used to it so fast if you let him! Your other friends who commented are totallhy right though, there is nothing wrong with formula and deciding that that's best for you and baby, but I also wanted to let you know that it was hard for us too and we stuck it out and they nursed unti l3 1/2 months! Best of luck, hope you guys are doing well! Much Love-Kira