Friday, January 20, 2012
Today is one of those days where I have to continue to tell myself that one day I will no longer be a single parent, over and over again so I can continue on with my day. I have seen Larry a total of 20 minutes this week...people this is no exaggeration. He comes home so late I am always asleep because hello I run after a toddler all day and am pregnant and he leaves probably 5 minutes after I wake up to get Max from his crib. I did talk to him around 3:45 am this morning when Max was crying and I will probably see him tomorrow night. I don't mean to write this to have self pity its just the reality of our lives and the choices we have made. Knowing that one day years down the road he will have a somewhat normal schedule keeps me going, and keeps me wanting to get out of bed, because somedays lets face it its hard to muster up the energy to get up and go on with your life without a spouse by your side. I am also trying to get myself psyched for this new baby to come because facing a new baby and taking care of Max who is basically a baby still is daunting and scary. Will I have time to shower, eat, sleep or even pee in peace? Who knows only time will tell. I am going to take it day by day and just keep pressing forward. The other day as Max was screaming in the car I sang very loudly "I love being a mom" over and over again and you know what eventually he stopped screaming and found it funny and I really do love being a mom, so what if its solo most of the time at least I get the opportunity.