Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mothers Day 2013

I am a mom who is still learning to become a mother. I am a mom who looks at other moms for advice, who reads books, and is trying to develop her mom philosophy. I am a mom who is starving for information on development, communication, and child rearing. I am a mom who cares.

I am a mom who was made to have babies. I am a mom who gets pregnant without trying. I am that mom who people sometimes hate because of that. I am a mom who loves to be pregnant and I am a mom who loves to give birth. I am a mom who looks forward to her next baby, whenever that may be.

I am a mom who worries. I don't worry about their every day safety...infact I am low key about that. I don't worry if they fall, eat dirt, break a bone I think it is all part of being a kid. I do worry about their grades, self esteem, peer pressure, dating, sex, drugs, helping them gain a testimony. I am a mom who worries about not providing well enough to give them the life we dream of having. I worry about lost opportunities because I didn't push them hard enough, or breaking their spirit because I pushed too much.  How do you teach them to be good people, not the bullies, not the ones who make fun of other kids or don't stand up for what is right?? How do you just let them go off into the world. These are the things that keep me up at night. I am a tried mom.

I am a mom who wants the best for her kids, like every mom. I want them to have a good life, a joyful childhood, and to look back and say my parents were awesome and they tried their gosh darn hardest to help us become amazing people. Is this a dream? Is this unrealistic? I guess then I am a mom who dreams.

I am a mom who wants to always see the best in her child, but also knows there is a time and a place for time outs, discipline, and teaching. I am a mom who loves her children unconditionally. I am a mom who feels that love deep down in her core. I am a mom who hugs, kisses, and holds her children. I am a mom that realizes my children love to be loved on. I am a mom who always wants her kids to have that physical connection to her.

I am a mom, and this mothers day I want to celebrate the good days and the bad days. The days where I worry myself sick about the future. The days where I cry because I was awful to them, or cried, or lost my patients. The days where we did nothing but play and everyone went to bed happy and tired. I am a mom who was born to do this, who has given up an worldly ambitions to be a mom. The world says I am not good enough, other women say it is a waste, but I am a mom who knows that if I can change my children for the better, and give them the mom the deserve that they will change the world. I am a mom that knows that I can change the future just by being a mom.

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