This last week has been pretty amazing I have to say. I have done nothing except play and be with my boys all week. I know I know...I am a stay at home mom I should do that everyday. But in reality I don't. This week I did nothing but play with Max and Noah. We went to the park every day, we played outside for hours, we sang songs, had picnics, played in the Teepee. We took lots of baths, and played in the water out side. Whatever Max wanted to play, Noah and I were right beside him. We read extra stories, and played with friends.
Did my house get extra dirty...yes. And yes there is a pile of laundry that needs to be done, but man alive my boys were so happy. I didn't drag them to any stores, or run any errands, I didn't chat of the phone with friends, or get on the computer if I had a free second. And honestly I haven't felt this appreciated, and exhausted in a long time.
I usually always take them to the park, and play with them but this week has been so different. I tried not to say, just a second Max...or give mommy 5 minutes. I was there and present. I listen to all the funny things he had to say. I taught him some planet names...because he is so into rockets and space right now. I tried teaching Noah how to blow kisses, and get him to walk a few steps!! And I just soaked up all their little kisses and hugs. Their fat little feet, and their bellies sticking out of the shirts. I didn't mind them crawling and jumping all over me. Every time they ran or crawled by I gave them kisses and told them how loved they were.
Tonight as I lay with Max in the bed after a long sunny day of playing I realized how amazing it is to feel your very active little boys body go limp next to you as he falls asleep and drifts off to dream land. It was such a peaceful moment, his soft rhythmic breathing, the primary songs quietly playing, and I knew he was happy, and cared for and that is what being a mother is all about.
I know that there are so many children out in the world, that are not as well cared for. It breaks my heart when my mom, who is a teacher tells me stories about kids at her school who's parents treat them horrible. To me going to the park or zoo is so normal. To me having warm baths, clean jammies and brushing teeth is so normal. I am reminded daily how lucky I am to be able to do these things with my kids. I feel so blessed that I am able to stay at home with them, to give them the normal, loving, cared for life that they deserve.
I never knew how little I would care about my needs once I became a mom. I rarely look in the mirror after I get ready for the day. I rarely think about the things I need or want. It is all about them, and that is okay, because that is how it is suppose to be. I am more then happy to give my boys everything they need or give them fun opportunities before wasting it on myself.
When Max says "I love you mommy" that is seriously the best words in the world. When Noah hears my voice and franticly crawls to me for a hug it makes me feel so love. When my husband who works so hard so I can stay home, comes home and asks what he can do for me...I know I am a blessed woman.
There are hard days...you have read about them. Not everything is always rosy. There are fights (loud ones) there is a lot of tears from kids and parents. There is days where I worry sick about staying poor law students and having just one income. There are days when I think we are crazy to think we can succeed in this harsh world. But that is the beauty of life. This is what working towards eternal progression is all about...working together through the good and the bad as an eternal family.
I love my family...even when I hate them.
I am blessed...
and I love when I get to be this sappy mommy :)