Mothering Moments..My body is no longer my own.

Every time I pick up Noah I think how much I love his little body. All the rolls, the soft skin, and his lips that curve into a smile whenever he sees me. I feel the same way when I watch Max run around kicking, throwing, and jumping. I love when he comes and flings his body at me and with his little arms wraps then around my neck and hugs me. I always think how amazing it is that my body...MINE, created these little bodies, that they grew inside of me and I gave birth to them.

I remember when I was taking an anatomy & physiology class in college and just being amazed by the human body and the reproductive process. It was such a detailed class on prenatal development, and I learned so much. Seriously conceiving a baby its crazy business...really the window to actually have one is so small its truly a miracle it happens. I felt such appreciation for my body and for the gift of being a women and one day being able to experience that. I thought anyone who doesn't believe in god is crazy because this is beyond complicated and

Another moment in my life that made me appreciate my body and truly seeing the divinity in being a women when I was in nursing school. I remember seeing my first birth, it was amazing. I remember just holding my breath as the mother labored, and pushed her baby out. I let out a big sign of relief, and though if people do not believe in a higher power, they are nuts because that was a miracle. I remember how excited I was for this women, how connected I felt with her being able to help her have this baby and that is one things I truly love about being a mom and women, the sisterhood you have and share with other women.

It really boggles my mind sometimes that I was able to grow a human. I feel incredible blessed to have been able to do it twice, and I admit I feel selfish sometimes when I want to do it again, and again. I love when you get to hear the heart beat...two heart beats in your body is amazing. I love the kicks, and the way your tummy moves as the baby moves. And yes it is crazy uncomfortable but man alive it is so worth it. I have to admit I am a bit bias when it comes to giving birth. I have been blessed with quick labors where my body just does it all and out comes this screaming baby, but that really makes me appreciate the experience so much more.

I think the reason I've been thinking lately about how amazing all this is, is because of how much my little babies have been changing. I keep thinking wow Noah you are huge, I just gave birth to you and look how big you already are. Its amazing that they grow inside of me, but outside of me they develop so much and in such a rapid pace. I feel overwhelming blessings when I watch my boys do the things they do. I am so grateful that I am a mother, I am grateful that I am a women and I've experience the pains of pregnancy, of labor, and the after effects it does to your body. The human body never seises to amaze me.

I thank my lucky stars that through my body I have been able to develop and become a mother. Not a day goes by that I don't feel so grateful that I am able to physically hold by babies, kiss them, pick them up, tickle their backs, and do all the things that a mother does. I love knowing that I have this special connection with my kids that no one else has. They started their physical life in me, and we are connected in such a special way. I remember thinking wow my body is not my own anymore and it will never be the same! Its such a physically demanding job from day one, but boy am I glad for the opportunity. I cross my fingers I get to keep on doing that I am doing because I feel so lucky to be a mom.