Feeling Big and Blue

I am still pregnant, and frustrated about it! I am still dilated to a 4 and just waiting. Its really fine except I can't go anywhere because it could happen at anytime. My mom had planned a girls day down in fresno today to do crafts, eat, and then have a baby shower for one of my cousins...I honestly thought I would be able to go when we set the date a few months ago not knowing I would be so far along at 38 weeks pregnant. Well sadly I didn't get to go after Larry putting his foot down and my Dr. putting some common senese into me yesterday at my appointment. I kinda fell apart last night when my mom was getting things ready though, I think its just those postpartum hormones gearing up. I feel like I will be pregnant forever and stuck at a 4 forever as well as getting fatter by the day. The one good thing is my dr. said if I don't have this baby this week she scheduled my induction for next wednesday. So even though there is an end sight and having a baby a week early is great I am still tired and ready for this pregnancy to be ending. I think its really just because I've had so many contractions and false alarms these last 5 weeks! Hopefully the blue and big feelings will subside when I hold that sweet little newborn any second now!