Recently I have been re-blogging our 2009 summer living in D.C. I love pouring over the pictures remembering every little crazy thing that happened to us. At the time I thought it was crazy to pack up and move across the country without a home, car, and knowing no one. Looking back I laugh because it was such a fun summer and really a simpler time. We still were in the throws of undergrad and had a pretty easy cheap life back in Utah. I look back on our time pre max and sans law school and sometimes really miss those times. On hard days my heart breaks for simpler times where our rent was small along with our incomes but it all worked out and it was just the 2 of us spending every second together.
I know we have to progress and move on and grow up but sometimes its the pits right? Any tiny second I get alone with Larry it seems like we should make the most of those precious moments but sadly it usually turns into practical conversations about work,school, bills, no romance no butterflies. Sometimes I feel like I am past my prime. I've been to college, fell in love, got married, had a baby the steps of growing up and I feel I've peaked. I tell Larry this all the time, he just laughs and reminds me of the exciting things that are yet to come; buying a house, more babies, having 2 cars, a dishwasher, vacations, and it we are blessed a steady income worthy of 7 years of schooling.
Its true at times I feel old and that everything is behind me but its not true and I have to continue to remind myself of that, and that I need to be content and happy. I am hoping I am not the only one out there that feels these things at times because apparently my husband doesn't but I am still trying to figure this entire growing up thing out.
Fortunately I have great people in my life that encourage, support, and give much needed advice and conversation to make me realize things are good. Things might be unstable and uncertain but I have people that care and want us to succeed in whatever we try. I am feeling a little nervous as the weeks go by and Larry's grades will be posted. I continually pray we will be blessed with the necessities we need to continue on for the next year of law school, I may not be the one that is studying and taking the tests but I would say I am the one that is pushing our small family onward and getting us through the the highs and lows of law school. We have come a long way and I need to not look away so much and remember how far we have come! If anyone wants to send some good thoughts towards us in the next week we would be most appreciative...fingers crossed his grades come back and we can party hard!
Good luck! And no, you are not the only one who feels that way. I read a really good talk by Elder Holland about looking back and it was so good. I suggest you read it too (it helped me a lot because I too have been looking back longingly at past times). It's from a BYU devotional he gave in 2009 and it is about Lot's wife. That should be enough to find it.
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